The Reflection of 2013

When I look back on my on 2013 one thing is blatantly obvious, beauty products took over. It started simply enough with a free box of hair color from BzzAgent. In the event you are curious, the post can be found here. It wasn't necessarily a direction or a vision I had for my blog, it's just something that happened organically. So I let it take me where it was going.

Beauty products hold a special place for me. Let me explain why. On any given day when I sit down at my makeup table I usually feel like horrible. Because of the symptoms I live with I don't understand just feeling tired or a little under the weather. I have barrage of symptoms going on at any time. I frequently wake with a pain level of 4 to 6 in numerous parts of my body. I don't sleep like the average person so I wake exhausted. Nerves in several different parts of my body are twitching at really odd intervals. Typically, I have some sort of confusion or brain fog going on so I can't think clearly. I can't imagine how I am going to get through the day. Life seems overwhelming and I should probably go back to bed.

As I begin to look at the colors, the textures, the finishes of the products in front of me I realize that I don't have to figure it all out right now. For now, I just need to focus on what shade of eyeshadow I am going to wear. Am I going to apply a nude lipstick or a bolder one? Will I apply false lashes for a dramatic eye or just keep it natural? These are simple questions that I enjoy answering. It's easy to focus on the beauty of cosmetics and leave the rest of the problems for later. I like the feel of soft fluffy brushes against my skin. As I apply foundation, eyeliner, and blush I begin to see a transformation in the woman in the mirror. She changes from a sick, disheveled woman to a confident, beautiful, polished woman capable of handling what lies before her. Feeling like a beautiful woman makes me believe that I can cope with the challenges I face.