The Heart of a Mother

As I type these very words there is a team of doctors and nurses preparing for surgery in a hospital in the middle of the United States of America. For them it's just an average day, just an average surgery, just an average patient. For me, it's not average; it's disconcerting. That average patient is my mother. That average surgery is open heart. That's the heart of the woman that has prayed for me, worried about me, fretted over me, cried for me, rejoiced with me, and celebrated with me. Now I find myself praying for her, worrying about her, fretting over her,  crying for her and waiting to rejoice and celebrate with her. 

Dad, Mom, my sister Tammy and myself

Turns out that this isn't your average surgery and my Mom isn't your average patient.  She's a fighter in every sense of the word. The surgery although expected to last 4-5 hours, it ends up being a marathon 12 hours. There were some challenges to overcome as previous surgeries had left her heart weak and riddled with scar tissue.  We felt helpless and small as we waited for her heart to remember the zest for life this woman possesses. We walked the halls, held tightly to each other and encouraged each other to stay positive. We continued to pray and we sought out the prayers of others. I found comfort in knowing there was a small army of warriors lifting my Mom in prayer. I didn't feel so helpless and alone when I would connect with my relatives, friends and blogging buddies. I am blessed to know so many amazing people offering so many beautiful words of encouragement. My world is full of glorious souls willing to stand with me when life becomes overwhelming. My Mom's world is full of relatives, friends and angels lifting her with encouragement and love. For that I am eternally grateful. 

My mom and my son

While my dad, my sister and myself were blindsided by the fight,  my mother was very well prepared. She understood the magnitude of this battle and she faced it with the bravado of the fiercest warrior. She silently vowed to do her part in the fight and she trusted her medical team to do theirs. She stood arm in arm with the medical team and never backed down. They recognized the intensity increase of the battle and they called in reinforcements in the form of more surgeons. She silently refused to give up. The hours drug on and we felt hopelessness creeping in. She never faltered. She was steadfast in her determination. Defeat was simply not an option. After 12 grueling hours she and her team claimed victory and they were able to complete her surgery.

Myself,  my Mom and my sister, Tammy.

Now some 24 hours after surgery, she's still fighting and we are rallying by her side. Her condition is still precarious at best but she's not giving up. Her tiny little body has battled breast cancer and now three open heart surgeries; still it has so much gusto inside. Her bravado at facing these challenges shows me what grace really looks like. Beyond the fear of the tubes,  the machines and the fragility of life, we rejoice in the beauty of the squeeze of her hand. We celebrate the glory of every hour that passes and her strength that grows stronger. We overflow with emotion when we say 'I love you' and she nods as she looks at us. 

Mom, thank you for showing me how to be brave. Words can never express the depth of my love for you. While I may have inherited a lot from my Dad, everything I know about faith and strength I learned from you. You're an amazing woman and I am lucky to know you; but, I am even more blessed to call you my Mom. You've got this and we're taking care of Dad while you're busy fighting. We'll be here waiting. Take your time we know this is a tough one.