Inspiration has found me. My friend, Arnold, speaks these amazing words of wisdom to me. His depth never ceases to amaze me. I am blessed that his words are able to speak to the core of who I am.
Having a chronic illness can be a huge challenge. It can make one question everything in their life. One wonders if they will have the ability to love, to be loved, to find a reason to smile and people to stick around when things get difficult. Arnold and I have discussed this extensively.
He never ceases to amaze me with his positive attitude and his simple ways at seeing life. These are some messages we have sent back and forth when he manages to sooth the pain away.
Arnold:
In this life we are living, you should not expect that life will always be fair, sometimes you have to expect more worse than what you are thinking. I know down inside you are hurting, in order to live, you keep yourself searching.
You might be wondering, why others live a simple life yet they are happy and content. you might be amazed to find yourself with me as a friend, listener, your singer, and hopefully a companion.
What makes you think that im still here for you? Why are you still in the dark and living in dispair? Isn't it time for you to think and realise how the world goes round? So many questions... So many answers...
You need to face the fact and to keep on, you need to open up your mind, wide open. You have to think what's on the other side of the wall, sometime you have to open up your eyes while you were sleeping to see the reality of your dreams.
Being passionate about love, you have to be very simple and appreciate things that surround you. Not thinking of what you are and what you have right now, appreciate things that happens in your life right now. You will see, happiness comes along!
Me:
I never expect that life is fair. I know all too well that it is not. I just want to be happy in life. I just want to be able to laugh easily for no particular reason, to love with every ounce of my being and to live enjoying as much as I possibly can in this life. I am weary from fighting this battle for so long. It is breaking my spirit and complicating my illness. I feel very alone and very misunderstood right now. I feel empty and useless.
I have reread your words to me for the third time this morning. I understand that this suffering is what I must go through. I know that happiness is waiting for me on the other side of all of this and I am so blessed to have you to remind me of this. This just another experience in life that I must live through to make my life what I want it to be.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Thank you for just hearing me. Thank you for your acceptance. You have no idea how lucky I am to have you in my life to help me through this.
Arnold:
You never ask God to be treated this way, but i guess its HIS own way on how your going to make yourself stronger than what future may bring...
And you know that I'm always here to listen for you... My arms are wide open...
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