Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Traveling with nerve(s)

Journal entry.......

After a very hectic day yesterday I find myself on a plane once again starting over. I know I have done this before but this time its different.  I found myself after a lot of craziness followed by some serious soul searching.  It's about finding myself. Learning to like myself. Learning to live with my illness and how to live well.  I really found myself and when I did the most beautiful thing happened.  I found love.  Real love.  True Love.  This deep amazing power that brings out all the best in me.  I don't have to DO anything or BE anything.  The fact that I love life, love others and love smiling is enough to make him happy.  He is so beautiful inside and out.  We are real and honest with each other.  We freely express our emotions with each other.  There is this natural, raw, pure quality to this relationship that neither of us have experienced before.  Now he waits for me on the other side of the world.  Now that I know I am whole and healthy I am free to enjoy the pleasures of being with him.  I won't be searching for myself.  I won't be worried about what he thinks I should be.  My heart and my soul are free to feel the depths of our love.