Sunday, July 7, 2013

Conversations with Boyet

Every now and again, I have these conversations with my husband that are completely random.  Combine this with my husband's knack for skipping key details and it makes for strange conversations.  One morning I was putting on my makeup and doing my hair while he was showering.  He comes back into our room after showering and then this happened:

What I, Shalunya, said is in this lovely pink color. Boyet's words of wisdom will be in blue. 

Miley Cyrus is a crackhead.
Wait, What?
Miley Cyrus is a crackhead, now.
How did you find that out? Was she arrested or something?
It was on the radio.
The radio said she's a crackhead?
She said it.
She said she's a crackhead on the radio?
Yeah, she said it but she also said is better than pork.
Pork? What does pork have to do with Miley being a crackhead. Wait! I give up.

There's this concept called 'context' but maybe he missed that memo.  He starts the most random conversations with the most random statements and then doesn't understand why I get confused. 

Another example from this morning driving to work together.

Do you want me to drive? 
It's ok, I'm already driving.
Do you want me to drive?
Drive? I'm driving. Drive me where?
Do you want me to drive you crazy?
Oh, you are driving me crazy and you're going really FAST!

Then there are conversations like these:

What time do you work Monday?
One, Two, Three, Four (while counting his work orders)
What time? on Monday?
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Not what days do you work.  What time?
Yes, I work on Monday.
Do you understand that I am trying to find out what time?
So, What time?
Oh, 8am.

I am certain he does this just to drive me crazy because he speaks English extremely well and can beat almost anyone at Words with Friends.  I, also, know that his sisters have the same issue when trying to get information out of him.  Getting information out of him is like pulling his teeth. 

Another regular around our house:

Do you want to go grab something for dinner or should we cook?
Wait, go out or stay in?
This isn't a yes or no question.  It's multiple choice. A) Go Out or B)Stay In .
Sounds good.
Oh, nevermind. I'll make myself a sandwich.
But I thought we are going out.
Fine, let's go out.
Do you want me to make you a sandwich?
But I thought we were going out. Do you want a pizza?
Nevermind, I'm not hungry.

This happens at least once a week around my house.  It frustrates me and I will throw my hand up on my hip and tell him that talking to him is like talking to a brick wall, a talking, confusing brick wall.  Then I will walk away to avoid getting further crazy.  Hours or days later, I will try to explain why we have communication issues.  Then he will mimmick me, throw his hand on his hip and tell me that talking to me is like talking to a brick wall.  This causes me to burst out laughing because his impression is spot on.  This is when I realize that he does this just to mess with me. 

Thank God, I am totally in love and find this man completely adorable.  If not, I could find the above conversations terribly frustrating.  I now completely understand his sisters' frustrations! I should have listened when his sisters tried to warn me.  Ladies, your little brother is very mischievous.  Thankfully, I love him with all my heart and I embrace the craziness of our life together.